Queen [And King] For A Day

[Adult Female, any age. The pauses indicated should be very quick. The child is just asking one or two word questions throughout. Also - please use your imagination. By that I mean: Think of the character of "Ugly Betty's" older sister in the current television show. She speaks very quickly and with a combination of a Spanish/New York City accent. Such an accent and general character presence would be perfect for this monologue. Additionally - the character played by Marisa Tomei [sp?] in "My Cousin Vinny" would present a good image to keep in mind when performing this monologue.]

That’s it, boys and girls, the Plainville Elementary School Cafeteria is now officially closed for the summer!

[starts to set about clean-up and realizes an elementary school girl has come up beside her.]

Oh - Kathy, hon,’ I hope you have a great summer vacation.

[pause]

What? -- Where do I go? Well – you know my husband – Jack? [nods] – yup ‘Jack the Janitor’– well – every summer we spend two weeks at this – like - gigantic old southern mansion that’s been made into a hotel.

Ohhh…it’s something, I tell you. It’s somethin’. We get room service with breakfast in bed –

[pause]

Y’uh really – right in the bed…

An’ we got people who bring us snacks an’ drinks at the pool and they say “Yes, sir an' no sir – and Yes ma’am, an’ thank you ma’am… Oh – and I tell y’uh -- they have this fancy restaurant with waiters in – like - tuxedos--

[quick pause/smile]

Yup – like penguins - yup – and they have this little sort of orchestra with violins playin’ every night – it’s just – it’s just beautiful.

[quick pause]

Oh yeah! Every night we get all dressed up….I bring every dress I got and Jack brings his two suits…an’ I tell y’uh – there’s this huge old staircase – [points] as wide as that table over there, that goes down into the dinin’ room…Yup, an’, when we’re standin’ at the top of them stairs – I feel like I’m the queen and Jack’s my king.

And all them people in the restaurant – well – it’s like their our subjects in the kingdom, y’uh know?

[pause]

Huh? Oh no…no, we don’t have any friends there – I mean – no one else from here goes there, if that’s what you mean. An’ that’s the way we want it…y’uh know?

[quick pause]

Why? Well – let’s jus’ say – every king and queen has gotta keep some secrets or their subjects will lose respect for ‘em – right?

I mean, if our ‘subjects’ knew about our day jobs, it might – y'uh know – ‘disillusion’ them.

[quick pause]

What? Well – let’s put it this way….sometimes keepin’ secrets isn’t a bad thing. Like – when we come down those stairs, no one knows that they’re lookin’ at the Plainville janitor an' the cafeteria lady – an’ it’s better that way….

[quick pause]

Why? Well - it’s sorta like you --- just now. If you knew I was a queen wouldn’t you have to treat me different? Right.. [a little laugh].

So, even though you know I’m a queen part of the year – I’ll always be Gladys to you…..And...to folks the at the hotel? Well...I’ll always be the queen – Jack’ll be the king an’…to my way of thinkin’ .. that makes the world just right.